


Tony's not Jealous

by SunflowerSupreme



Series: Clint's Home for Vacationing & Retired Superheroes [4]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Gen, groot is mistaken for a chair, they use skype
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 07:32:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14786166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerSupreme/pseuds/SunflowerSupreme
Summary: It’s just not fair that Clint didn’t mention the aliens at his house.In which Tony Stark finds out about Clint’s Home for Vacationing & Retired Super Heroes.





	Tony's not Jealous

**Author's Note:**

> I just wrote a really sad story so I wrote this complete nonsense to cheer myself up. If you want Peter and Yondu feels, check out [Once in a Generation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14785542).
> 
> Tony and Peter Parker is probably the most requested prompt I've had for this series, so here you are!!!

Tony was NOT jealous. It just wasn’t fair that no one told him when they found aliens.

Hell, he’d had to wait to meet Thor until the world was falling apart and he wouldn’t have found out about Clint’s aliens if he hadn’t seen a raccoon in the background of a skype call.

> “There's a raccoon in your house,” Tony had said calmly, watching as the woodland creature’s tail bobbed across the back of the screen.
> 
> “It’s just Rocket.” Clint had glanced over his shoulder, saying to someone behind him, “Groot’s in the window!”
> 
> “Where’s Blue?” The voice was unfamilar.
> 
> “Peter locked him in the chicken coop.”
> 
> The raccoon had jumped onto the chair, raising his eyebrows. “Peter did what!?” Tony’s mouth had dropped open. _That thing just talked_.
> 
> “Where did you get a talking raccoon?!”
> 
> Clint had been too calm. “He crash landed with the rest of the aliens a few years back. Fury asked me to keep an eye out on them. They visit sometimes.” Then he had turned back to the Raccoon - Rocket, he had said the name was - and had said, “Peter shut Yondu in the chicken coop with the new guy-”
> 
> “Stakar?”
> 
> “-please get him out before he arrows my chickens.”

Parker had wanted to come - of course, he did, what self-respecting teenager didn’t want to meet aliens? - But Tony had said he couldn’t come until he was certain the aliens weren’t gonna kill anyone. Somehow, and he honestly wasn’t sure how Parker had ended up in the passenger seat on the way to Clint’s farm.

“Now kid,” Tony said, “you need to stay in the car until I’m sure these aliens aren’t trouble.”

“But you said we could trust Avengers! Clint says they’re fine!” 

More than anything, Tony wished he could cure Parker of some of his blind trust in him. “He’s been mind controlled before kid, I just need to make sure everything’s fine.” _And Fury’s not answering my calls, the bastard_.

Tony pulled up and stopped, motioning for Parker to stay behind as he hopped out of the car.

He ignored the two humans leaning against the side of the house - they clearly weren’t alien or talking woodland beasts - and simply offered them a nod, assuming they were friends of Clint or Laura. 

He knocked loudly and purposefully on the door, then stood back and waited, leaning against a plant. If he cared to notice, he would have realized that the “potted plant” didn’t have a pot, but he was distracted by a loud whistle and something that revealed an arrow coming to rest in between his eyes.

 _“Get him out before he arrows my chickens,”_ Clint had said on their skype call the day before. Tony closed his eyes. What a way to go, death by space arrow.

“Yondu no!” It was Clint’s voice that cut through the silence of the farm, although this time it wasn’t in Tony’s memories. “He’s a friend!”

The arrow dropped back, retreating to a safe distance. “Get off Groot,” Clint said by way of a greeting. He dropped his voice, “Yondu’s a bit overprotective, but don’t tell him I said that.”

“Groot?” Tony asked.

The plant he was leaning on took that moment to open his eyes and announce, “I am Groot.” 

* * *

Soon Tony found himself inside, sitting beside a green woman who had been introduced as Gamora while Clint chewed out Yondu, Tony’s would be arrow attacker, for “shooting first and asking questions later.” Drax, who could have passed as the Hulk’s little brother, was pointedly sharpening a knife in the kitchen, sitting next to a handwritten sign that read “No Eating One Another in the House.” Based on Drax’s weaponry, Tony had a bad feeling that rule didn’t include the yard.

Laura offered a smile. “So you’ve met Groot and Gamora, Rocket and Mantis are giving Aleta a tour of their ship, and I don’t know where Peter and Stakar went off too.”

“Don’t mind Drax,” Gamora said. “He’s angry that you sat on Groot.”

In any other circumstances, Tony would have been absolutely blown away by the beautiful woman that he had no doubt could kill him, but he was still to terrified of her friends. “Sorry, Groot.”

“I am Groot.”

“He accepts your apology.” Gamora translated.

“I do not,” Drax rumbled. Laura gave him a pointed look and he added, “think that we should not forgive him. Of course, by goes will be by goes.” She smiled and Drax returned what he clearly thought was a smile. It just made him look constipated.

Yondu, who Clint was apparently through yelling at (something in his red eyes said that he hadn’t listened to a word, and Clint’s frustrated face showed that he was aware) sat on Tony’s other side and said, “Ya ain’t made o’ iron.”

“He’s Iron Man, he’s not made of Iron!” Clint rubbed his face. “Your buddy calls himself Starhawk but I didn’t see any feathers!”

Yondu was still unimpressed. “Yer Terran?”

“Yes,” Laura supplied. “Everyone on Earth is. Well, except for Thor and a few others. Like Peter.”

“Peter is not from Earth,” Mantis objected, her antennae glowing lightly. “He is from Missouri.”

“Das on Terra, bug,” Yondu snapped, giving her a disbelieving look. 

* * *

“Mr. Stark says I shouldn’t talk to strange men.”

Quill and Stakar looked at one another quizzically. They had just wanted to approach the car to talk to its occupant (that, and both of them were curious about Earth tech, and the car looked nothing like Clint’s), but he looked uncertain at the idea of them coming up to him.

“You always do what Mr. Stark says?” Quill asked in disbelief. “Loser,” he grumbled under his breath.

Stakar let out a snort. “Just because you’re incapable of obeying doesn’t mean everyone is.”

“I learned from the best,” Quill boasted. “And since I learned from Yondu who probably learned from you, doesn’t that make it your fault?” Stakar was getting his “I’m so glad Aleta isn’t here to hear this” face, which Quill was especially good at causing. 

The kid in the car was staring at Stakar’s coat, particularly the yellow bands on his shoulders. “Are you aliens?”

“We’re from space,” Stakar replied smoothly. The boy’s eyes bugged. “Quill here’s from Terra - err, Earth - though.”

“Only half!”

“Do you admit to that half?”

He frowned. “Maybe I’ll turn blue.”

Stakar felt himself grin, just a bit. “Don’t give Rocket any ideas.”

“Shit.”

The boy looked between the two of them, undoing his seatbelt and leaning to the edge of the convertible. “Mr. Stark says I can’t get out of the car, but if you’re friends of Clint’s then you’re not strangers.”

“Now you’re thinking.” Quill wasted no time in hoping to sit on the back of the car, grinning at the younger man. “Name’s Star Lord-” Stakar snorted “-but my friends call me Peter Quill. This is Stakar, he doesn’t have a cool name.”

“Wow! You’re a Peter too!” His face lit up and he held out his hand. “Peter Parker. This is so cool.” The Peters shook hands enthusiastically, pretending they didn’t hear Stakar muttering about not letting Yondu know about “the other Peter.”

“Don’t mind him, he’s dull and old.”

“I may not have an arrow, but I still outrank you.”

Quill deflated, but only slightly. “Where’re you from?”

“New York City.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to New York!” Quill said excitedly. “I grew up in Missouri and nothing ever happened there.”

“You grew up in Space. You were born in Missouri," Stakar reminded him, clearly enjoying the easy ribbing.

Quill glared at Stakar. “But space isn’t New York,” he argued.

“Space is so much cooler than New York,” Parker said, looking rapidly between the two of them. “Is it like Star Wars? Or more like Star Trek?”

“It’s so much cooler,” Quill said. “And like, a thousand times more likely to kill you.” He paused, a grin spreading across his face. “You wanna see a spaceship?”

Parker’s face lit up, then fell again. “I’m not allowed to get out of the car.”

“It’s a spaceship, man!” Quill objected. “Come on! He doesn’t have to know!”

Stakar was less convinced. He looked toward the house, then back at the kid. “Is Mr. Stark the man who just went inside?” Parker nodded.

“Are we asking for permission?” Quill whined, “that is so boring.” He didn’t argue though, jumping to his feet and starting toward the house. Parker couldn’t contain himself anymore - surely he could get out of the car if he was going to find Mr. Stark - and he rushed past Quill and Stakar, knocking on the door. As soon as it was opened he stumbled inside.

“Mr. Stark can I go see the spaceship?” he asked. Then his mouth fell open when he saw Tony’s company.

“Ah, kid!” Tony said cheerfully, waving Peter inside. “Come and meet the aliens.” In the presence of actual aliens, the promise of seeing their spaceship slipped his mind. But not for long.

**Author's Note:**

> There will be a chapter about Peter shutting Yondu and Stakar in the chicken coop. He just wants them to get over their issues. 
> 
> I promise Aleta will actually show up eventually guys. And Peter Parker will get to see a spaceship (or two, I won't ignore the possibility of Yondu "borrowing" him and taking him into space).
> 
> ** by goes will be by goes = bygones must be bygones
> 
> ** The “he's from Missouri” / “That’s on earth” is borrowed from Infinity War.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr for more nonsense: [SunflowerSupremes](https://sunflowersupremes.tumblr.com/).


End file.
